that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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