This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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