Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
