Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
