Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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