fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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