Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My bed smells like the plague
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
