you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
