google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
false alarm, still single
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
