Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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