1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
