I'm eating all of the evidence.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
