I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize