This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
