Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
no, he came in my armpit
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
