my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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