He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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