grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
