I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
