i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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