not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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