Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
