He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
