I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
