I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
