are you still at the devil's house?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
