ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
