i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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