We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
