hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
