Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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