Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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