k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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