I got chris browned last night
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
