Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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