Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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