When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
