Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
