Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
