Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
