I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
