theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
