i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
