Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
