you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
