My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize