apparently the secret to your success is patron
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
