normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize