he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
