ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
