Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
