i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
