What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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