Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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