Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
