Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
