I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
