my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
