Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
