Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
