Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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