I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
