You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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