"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
