love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
