So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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