Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
