he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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