My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Are my feet made of real feet?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
