he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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